..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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