She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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