YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
