That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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