Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
