Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
