She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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