Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
nutella sex= disaster
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
