Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
