also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize