32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize
