fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
