okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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