I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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