There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
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We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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