I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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