theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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