Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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