I murdered the dance floor call the cops
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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