So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
