Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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