if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
