The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
