he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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