I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
