i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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