remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Found your dick twin last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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