at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
