Non-Jews are for practice
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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