hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
