Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
