he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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