I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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