U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
