Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
