Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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