Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
