if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
