Did you just see the Batmobile???
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
