Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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