He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
