I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
