'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize