i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
