you traded sex for a burrito?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His hands were made for my vagina.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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