how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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