it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
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I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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