What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
