my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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