I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
