I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize