dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
