Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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