I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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