It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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