where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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