do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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