Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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